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[15 Sep 2005|12:30am] |
Tonight... I can't sleep. I've got too much on my mind. I'm excited/nervous/restless. I've never been one to turn off my brain... I don't know how. I wish I did.
This weekend is going to be stressing. Sometimes I think that I do everything wrong. I should have kept in touch better with E. I'll most likely be seeing him this weekend and I don't know how that will go. I feel like he will be mad at me and I wish I could just blow that off. Give him the ol' FU. Would be nice.
I'm ready for a change.
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| Slacking |
[12 Sep 2005|11:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
Bad bad last few weeks. Junk food has become a staple in my diet and the exercise... non existent. But today I'm back, Baby. Back with a vengeance and ready to conquer!
I have a lot on my mind these days. Stress is trying to beat me but, I won't let it.
I have to get back into my groove. I need that rhythm again. My days need to be consistent and my time better managed. I'm going to set GOALS and damnit, I'm gunna accomplish them!
I will be scheduled. I will be consistent. I will be organized.
I must get back into the habit of going to bed early and rising even earlier. No excuses. I have to be in a successful mindset. I won't be average.
More later.
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| Er Gah Bum |
[11 Sep 2005|10:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 distressed |
] |
People underestimate the power of pretty plates. I'm seeing ugly plates all over LJ. STOP THE MADNESS!!
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[28 Aug 2005|11:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cranky |
] |
I can't be average!!!
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[25 Aug 2005|06:19am] |
I just spent way too much time reading about the doctor who is being sued for telling an overweight woman that she is overweight. Ey! It drives me crazy, this world of ours.
Anyway. I'm going to update with my motivation shortly.
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| Because I am FUCKING worth it! |
[24 Aug 2005|12:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 determined |
] |
Damnit, I am so frustrated with myself! I deserve to live a happy life. I deserve to do everything that I have ever dreamed of. SO, WHY NOT NOW?!
I'm going on a monster campaign. I'm going to become a production whore. I will not be defeted! Anyone who isn't with me is going to get the big FU! I'm ready, baby! Full On.
As part of this campaign for the next seven weeks I am going to update in the morning on WHY I am doing this. I'll have one for Business and one for Fitness&&Health.
I'm going to put up 47 reasons for each later or tomorrow. LOOK OUT, I'm ON MY WAY!
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[24 Aug 2005|10:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 weird |
] |
I just ate a "saturn" peach" probably the best thing I've ever tasted. LOL. My banana tasted like candy, too.
I love fruit!
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[24 Aug 2005|07:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
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aggravated |
] |
I think I want to get my dad a peice of carrot cake from Cheesecake Factory for his birthday. He loves carrot cake and this shit is supposed to be good. At nearly 1600 cals per slice... I should hope so. LOL.
Hm, yeah anyway. I don't like LJ these days.
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[22 Aug 2005|11:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
EH, so i'm a little freaked out. I only have seven weeks left. Seven weeks to infect my life with CHANGE and HABIT. It's exciting though. Really exciting. I'm irked that it seems to be a lone journey but, what did I expect?
This week I need to be stonger and smarter. I need to rock out production.
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| Don't forget to trim the HEDGES! |
[20 Aug 2005|01:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crazy |
] |
I'm SICK. OOOomg, I have been bad the past few days and I'm so sick of it. I hate eating crappy, I hate not being fit. I HATE IT!
I've not been AS motivated as I'd like this past week. Everything has been so stressing.
I need to get it done.
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| Change |
[19 Aug 2005|06:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nostalgic |
] |
Sometimes I wonder why things happen the way they do. Why is one day so different from the rest. Why do things change?
I don't long for the "good ol' days" but, I do very much wish that they happened differently than they did. Why was I that way? Why did I do those things?
No, I'm not sad. Just very nostalgic.
I wish I were the person I am today.
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| Daily Review |
[18 Aug 2005|08:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
I screwed up. Looks like I'm not getting my special dessert either this weekend. ::sigh:: I gave in to a few chips w/ dip and a blueberry muffin. Oh, well. At least I got in my exercise. My back is feeling much better , thank goodness. This week has been rough on me. I'm a little sad that I will not be getting my treats but, it's going to push me to become stronger. Plus, next week I won't be fighting against Momma Nature and her girly ways. Lol.
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| TO DO: |
[18 Aug 2005|05:29pm] |
|
Make 101 list and post to mission101. Starting on Aug. 21, 2005 and ending on May 18, 2008.
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| Won't lie. Having another BAD day! |
[18 Aug 2005|04:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
infuriated |
] |
I hate it when people let me down. Eh, such is life though.
I'm irritated as FUCK at DICK. He really really really irritates me. Not that he's super lazy and won't do anything. I just don't trust him AT ALL! He's a obnoxious slut that's never up to any good. DICK=TRASH.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, I just needed a vent break. Piss Off.
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| Reminder!!! 4 more days |
[18 Aug 2005|01:22pm] |
* Call Supra to cancel their internet service: 30min Mon
. -Find paperwork
* Call Cingular to change plan: 30min Mon
. -Find paperwork
. -Look up plans on line
* Listen to Junker CD's: 5hours Mon
* Transfer all docs to Computer: A long long time Mon
* Print out ALL business cards: 30min Mon
* Print out more Post Cards: 3hours Mon
* Look up lead phone numbers: 2hours Mon
* Transfer lead info to Spreadsheet: 3hours Mon
* Go though Newspaper for leads: 20min Mon
* Find out info about Post Lic. class && Renewal: 15min
. -Look though textbook for info
* Schedule week: 20min
. -USE TIME WISELY
* Get DBR everyday
* EAT HEALTHY!!!
. -Revert back to strict plan with added fruit
. -Drink more water!!!
* STICK TO EXERCISE PLAN!!!
. -20min cardio daily
. -Isolation daily
. -100cal workout daily
* Drive for houses: 5hours Tues-Fri
* Get one house under contract this week!!! This is a huge goal that may not happen but, I am going to try HARD!!!
* Total up entire debt and make a realistic plan to pay it off: 30 min
. -Sit down with Hubby
* Make monthly budget: 30min
. -Sit down with Hubby
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| Burning Inside |
[18 Aug 2005|01:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
I'm on FIRE and I'm going to become great.
I had a shit shit shit day yesterday that beat me up all day long. I couldn't figure out why I was so down. Yeah, I had over schedualed myself but, it was more than that. BAM! The curse of Eve. I managed to make it through the day without breaking down into hysteria. Go me.
Ever since I stopped the BC pills, I feel extra crappy during my time and have terrible back pain for a few days leading up to it and on P day. So, I tried to exercise yesterday but, only lasted for about 5 minutes. My back was killing me. I know I said I would only go tanning if I managed to exercise everyday of this week and I failed. Part of my wants to make excuses and say "Yeah, but it was out of my control" and the other part of my says "Look, you mismanaged your entire day and waited until 9:00 to workout. No Dice!". I'm going to listen to that part of me. My rewards are for learning to become habitual. It's not so much that I didn't do it as much as it is that I didn't PLAN it correctly. There is no excuse for working out that late. I was a poor planner. I'm going to pay for it.
It's tough now because I am going to have to keep up the motivation for the next 4 days knowing that I will not get my tanning session at the end. I'm going to have to do it with the mind set that it will make me stronger, healthier and look really fucking good. I'm going to have to buck up and do it because I am supposed to. I'm going to do it because I am blessed with a working body and I CAN!
>>>
On a different note, I need to kick ass for the next 4 days to bring in a deal. This was the worst week to pick to bust my hump but I will pull through.
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| ::SIGH:: |
[17 Aug 2005|11:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
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giggly |
] |
I've been working out for the past two days. My body is sore but, I won't give up. I've been grinding away at our business for the past two days. My stamina is low, but I won't give up. I've been eating healthy for the past two days. My taste buds are tired of eggs, but I WON'T GIVE UP!
I'm learning not to give up. Not to give in. Not to be trampled on by life. Exercise is hard. Starting a business is hard. Eating healthy is hard. But, if I blow off everything that requires effort... I'll fail. I'll be fat. I'll be broke. I'll be sick. I can't have that! I'm young and ALIVE. Sure I feel like crawling into a cave and sleeping for about 5 days but, I can't do it. I deserve to win.
I have BIG GOALS for my life. I'm going to acheive them and live happy. I'm on my way right now.
Everytime I stop or take a step back... I'm making it that much harder for myself. So, why would I? I'm a machine, baby. Programed for greatness and won't stop for anything. I can make this easy or I can make it hard. I'm choosing ease.
Charts. My new system. I'm going to chart everything until it becomes habitual.
Body. Am I eating enough veggies? Drinking enough water> Did I take my vitamin? How 'bout them fruits?
Mind. What am I thinking about? Who am I listening to? Am I reading enough? How much am I learning?
Soul. When's the last time I've been to church? Devotions today? Am I happy? Am I am peace?
It's exciting.
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| What dosen't kill you makes you TIRED! |
[17 Aug 2005|10:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
] |
This week... it's kicking my ass.
I don't think I have ever been this freaking tired in my life. If I'm not in bed by 8:00 tonight, I'm fucked. I cannot stay up late anymore. ::YAWNS::
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[16 Aug 2005|09:52pm] |
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WORKOUT DONE!
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